Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
