you have to choose: penises or morals?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
