her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we made out on top of his cat.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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