you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
