You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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