just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
