going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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