STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
