just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I deserve this hangover.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
