he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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