I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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