I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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