Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize