Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
