Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
