apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
