What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
