I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize