i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
