i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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