I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
