the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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