He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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