you didnt know i had herpes?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
