Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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