I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
