Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize