He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
