dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize