she was so not down for the gang bang
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
