Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
