how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
