her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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