I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As shirtless as possible
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
