Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you would pick up someone in the library
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
