Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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