ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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