Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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