drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
