there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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