No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
