I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
