He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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