yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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