once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
