I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You are a genius and a whore.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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