How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
