My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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