What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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