so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
