i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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