Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
