Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
