I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
