i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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