You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
