we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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