im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
