I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
