Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
